


emptier worlds still

by AwayLaughing



Series: lines of descent [4]
Category: Naruto
Genre: F/M, Kid Fic, Loss of Parent(s), Original Character Death(s), Parent Death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-20
Updated: 2015-09-20
Packaged: 2018-04-22 14:13:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,929
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4838213
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AwayLaughing/pseuds/AwayLaughing
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The night the Kyuubi attacks, tragedy strikes every family in Konoha, even the ever stoic Hyuugas. In the aftermath of the attack, Hyuuga Hizashi is left with a reality he doesn't want to face, and a child too young to even understand it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	emptier worlds still

The Hyūga compound was a study in careful chaos as Hizashi and Ryouko wove through their clanmates. Ryouko was still finishing dressing to some extent, so Neji was in Hizashi's arm, fussing slightly at being woken to such madness.

“Hush,” Hizashi told his toddler son a little distractedly as he zeroed in on the people he and Ryouko were looking for. “You're going to spend some time with Ume-bachan, won't that be fun?”

Neji was too young for such frivolities like being soothed when he did not wish to be, and ironically not yet developed enough to be properly lied to. So, he continued to fuss, anxiously stuffing some of Hizashi's hair in his mouth.

“There's a battle blessing for you,” Ryouko said, finally managed to equip her myriad pouches, weapons and scrolls, “here, let's see if kaasan can cheer him up.”

Hizashi handed the squirming baby over to his wife, noticing how she tucked her hair out of immediate grabbing range. “Don't want a blessing of your own, Ryou?”

She was going to respond, he could see that, but she stopped when she heard familiar voices up ahead. As they turned a corner, Hiashi and his wife came into view. Normal view, anyway, and Hizashi let his Byakugan fall before anyone spotted them. As it was, his brother was busy trying to comfort his tiny wife. Given the fact a tailed beast was currently romping through their town like Neji and his toy blocks, he doubted it was going well.

“-needs you,” Ume was saying. She was half drowned out by the people scurrying around, anyone too young or old or self important was hurrying to the protected outer edges of the Hyūga lands, away from where the Kyūbi was. For now.

“The clan will survive no matter what happens,” his brother said, fixing his hitai ate more securely. Ryouko traded a look with Hizashi, one eyebrow raised. Ume usually was content to let Hiashi do as he pleased, when it came to the word 'clan'. “It's not safe for you to be out here, especially in your condition.”

Ume, unimpressed, put her hands on her hips, making her  _condition_  all that more obvious. At 6 months, she's not as big as she will be, but she was not a large woman. “Women have been successfully navigating my condition in much worse scenarios for eons beyond counting, Hiashi! I have every right to fret over my husband.”

If she planned on saying more, she was still too polite to rail against her husband and clan head in front of his brother and sister-in-law, at least. Instead, she turned her dismay to them. “And you two! You can't both leave poor Neji-chan like this.”

“If we want Neji to keep living, we must,” Hizashi said, “though we would entrust him to you, for now and if anything should happen.”

“Nothing  _should_  happen,” she shot back, but did take Neji, smoothing his dark hair. “Right Neji-chan?” Neji made a small, upset sound and set to gnawing on her kimono. That startled a laugh from her, out of place though it may have been in this moment. “I agree completely, Neji-chan,” she said, once again stroking his hair. When she looked up, her dark eyes shining slightly, but not defeated. “Come home,” she said, trying to sound like the imperious clan head wife Tsukimi wanted her to be, and failing. Her voice shook, no doubt in no small part because of the suffocating nature of the killing intent lapping over Konohagakure like a tsunami.

“We cannot promise, Ume,” Hiashi said, but he did lay a hand on her shoulder, and then, more cautiously, on Neji's head. “But we will try.”

“We will,” Ryouko said and Hizashi nodded, smiling stiffly when she bumped shoulders with him.

“If  _I_  don't come back, Hizashi will. And if Hizashi doesn't, I will,” she said with so much certainty Hizashi wondered if she could actually will that scenario into existence. It was certainly something she would try. “I can't make promises for our illustrious clan head, however. He is his own man.”

White eyes met white, Ryouko's unstoppable force to Hiashi's immovable object. Not for the first time, Hizashi wondered what life would have been had Ryouko been Hiashi's twin, and not him.

“I will be back,” Hiashi said with almost as much finality as Ryouko. Ryouko's answering smile was thin and humourless.

“Good.”

They pressed kisses to Neji's head, one after the other, and then sprang, as a group, into action toward the very heart of the battle. Hizashi hardened his heart against the sound of Neji's wail following them, and almost saw Ryouko do the same. She saw his gaze, and smiled again. Fuller. Sadder.

“We can do it, Hizashi.”

* * *

 

Hizashi's ears were still ringing when he managed to stumble into the Hyūga compound, right arm numb from the chakra burns left by  _barely_  dodging one of the Fox's tails. His outfit was in tatters, and he knew he should have made his way to triage , the way his chakra coils had gone numb wasn't a good thing. If he'd had the chakra to turn on his dojustu and assess his own levels, he wouldn't, just because he didn't want to confirm  _severely low_.

But he had to get home. He needed his son, and his wife. He needed to know they were safe, alive. The compound had been touched, but not much. Mostly by debris, some of which granted were very large, but not nearly as bad as having the actual Kyūbi land right on top of you.

No one, not even his mother, said anything as he stumbled in. He wasn't the first combatant to come back, but he was the most injured, and the people around him parted as if they could somehow sense his intentions. Maybe it was on his face, though surely his mother,  who was always ready to criticize and taunt, would have mentioned he was showing too much. Instead, she just watched, hawkish and impassive as he passed.

The collection of houses back here were more storage than anything, but Hizashi knew Ume would be at the best furnished one, closest to the wall. More at his mother's insistence than anything. For all his mother and his sister in law did not get along – no one got along with Hyūga Tsukimi they simply endured her – his mother was not going to risk losing the heir they'd been harping Hiashi for  _years_.

The absolute rage that had resulted when Hizashi and Ryouko were to have their first child had been enough to shock even his father. The fact that it had been directed at Hiashi was even more surprising to some, but Hiashi had been married five years longer than Hizashi, and to a woman Tsukimi had not approved of nonetheless. Less than three months into their marriage, his mother had started making noises that perhaps Ume was not up to the job of providing an heir.

She was, however, and, if the way she was currently handling Neji, who was visibly agitated and probably had been the whole time, was anything to go by, she was also up to the task of raising her poor daughter. The girl was certainly going to need her mother in her corner, though Hizashi pushed away the dark thought that it was because Hiashi certainly wouldn't be.

For long moments, he just watched, exhaustion racing quick to fully catch up with him. He watched his son toss and turn, but more importantly  _breathe_  and just...live. Ume was talking quietly to him, trying to convince him his tousan and kaasan would be back when he woke, if he would just go to sleep. It wasn't until one of his cousins, a tall, skinny relation, approached that Ume noticed, even then only because he spoke.

“Hizashi-sama, please let me tend to your arm. And take this chakra pill, the Akimichi provided some with instructions on use and who to give them to and I'm fully confident you count.”

Hizashi was going to tell him yes, he really was, but Neji, sweet and sometimes very stubborn Neji, was off like a launched kunai the moment he realized who was at the door. Or, at least, as fast as he could move at only fifteen months, which was not very fast and, given it was nearly 3AM, he tumbled with a few feet yet to go.

Hizashi didn't even realize he'd collapsed in response until he was cuddling his son, hushing him and pressing repeated kisses into dark, clean hair. How he made the two feet between them he didn't know, but didn't really care, either.

“Tousan is here, yes. I came back, we just need to wait for kaasan now, right?”

Neji made a tired little noise, wet with tears and burrowed as if his father was a shield against all the big scary world. Soundlessly, the medic started to work around Neji, and Hizashi met his eyes once in silent thanks, before closing them and praying to gods he did not entirely trust, thanking them for this tiny little piece of hope he had.

* * *

 

They waited, and dawn came, sun breaking through clouds and fitful sleep alike. Ryouko did not. Neji, having stayed up well past acceptable times, was still dead to the world when Hizashi shuffled wearily back to their little cottage, untouched by the chaos save for trampled flower beds. Inside it was quiet and still, warmed by the early morning sun already. Hizashi made no move to take Neji to his room, or indeed even go past the living room, sinking onto the sofa.

Ryouko would understand if he go soot and dirt and blood all over the couch, and a tiny bit on their son though he'd taken care to wipe Neji clean, even if the same could not be said for his clothing. It had been disturbing, to see something that meant destruction on his son's tiny, baby face. That had been the only time Neji had twitched awake, blinking huge white eyes until he realized it was just tousan being weird, and snuggled right back in.

Not for the first time since Neji was born, Hizashi was momentarily floored at the level of trust something so very vulnerable had for a man who had killed more people than he could hope to name.

At half past nine, he forced himself to make Neji wake up, knowing that throwing off his own sleep too much would not help anyway. There were tears of course, Neji being too young to understand that sometimes discomfort  _now_  meant none later.

Food distracted him at least, right up until Neji decided his mother needed to be back  _now._

“No,” he said, turning his face from the last few bites of food. “Kaasa.”

“Kaasan,” Hizashi corrected without thinking. “I don't know where she is, Neji-chan. I'm sorry.”

Neji just repeated himself – lack of  _n_  and all. Hizashi spent another few minutes but Neji had managed to convey that there would be no more mashed carrot and squash until there was a kaasan to go with it.  So, Hizashi just set it aside and scooped the infant up, not terribly shocked when Neji's response was a wordless but in no way soundless demand to be put  _down_.

“You're being mean to tousan, Neji-chan,” Hizashi said even as he complied. Neji just waddled off with a fierce determination that reminded Hizashi so strongly of Ryouko his breath actually stopped for a moment. Neji, being perhaps just blessed with excellent timing, turned as if he sensed something, and on cue the front door opened.

“Hizashi?” Ume called, “has Ryouko come back yet?”

Neji seemed to droop, but did change he course to reach the front door. Being older, taller and more used to walking, Ume made it into the living room first, and smiled when she was greeted with Neji peering seriously up at her. “And is Neji-chan feeling better?”

“Neji-chan is feeling obstinate,” Hizashi said, running a hand through his hair and jolting at how disgusting he was. Two years off the front had, apparently, made him forget how  _gross_  a pitched battle was. “Do you mind watching him while I bathe?”

“Not at all,” Ume said. “Hiashi came back a few hours ago and is passed out on the bed looking like he'll never wake,” she smiled softly. “Your mother was trying to break in last I heard but I told the staff that if anyone but me got into that room before he woke up there would be consequences.”

“My mother is a consequence,” Hizashi said, mouth twitching all the same. “He'll appreciate it, even if he doesn't say it.”

“I know,” she said, and lowered herself to the couch. “What do you say, Neji-chan, do you want to play a game?”

Neji did not. “Kaasa?” he tried instead and Hizashi ruffled his hair.

“We'll go look after tousan gets clean.”

* * *

 

Neji was a perfectly healthy baby, and as such was usually very intent on making his own way around the world without help, last night's tired blunder aside. Now, however, tiredness must have won over the desire to explore as he was dozing on his father's back, warm breath puffing again Hizashi's back as they made their way to the hospital. Ume had wanted to come, but Hizashi had pointed out that with Hiashi down for the count, they needed someone running things lest his parents attempt to wrest control back, even temporarily.

Naturally, the hospital was a study in absolute chaos. Every medic in Konoha was here, and most of the shinobi too. Tents had been erected outside the main building, acting as triage and ER because the  _actual_  triage and ER had been co-opted for general admissions and people who otherwise weren't dying but could benefit from some oversight.

Administration was camped on the steps, and consisted of a row of six men and women with ANBU guards on either side of their long table. No one was getting in without permission, it seemed. Hizashi spotted a few familiar faces around, some of them family some not, many of them injured of heart broken or both. As he made to get into line, a familiar hand landed on his elbow, stopping him.

A very tired Nara Shikaku with a fresh new facial scar stared back at him. “Missing persons, or just trying to get in?” he asked, and Hizashi wondered if Shikaku knew he was staring at Neji and not him. The Nara had a weeks old son, somewhere though Hizashi felt something important about that was elluding him.

“Ryouko's missing,” Hizashi said, and Shikaku paused as if he were going over his mental files.

“She was last seen near the city centre,” he said, “you'll want Line 2.”

Line 2 was very long.

“Thank you, Shikaku-san. Is Yoshino-san okay?”

Shikaku's face did something complicated. "She was already at the hospital when the attack came," he said, "luckily it was not hit hard. Neji-chan seems rather less lively than usual.”

Well, even exhausted and stressed, Hizashi knew when a topic was being changed. “He kept himself up all night, and then tousan was mean and made him wake up for breakfast,” Hizashi said. Then, because he didn't want to let the line get any longer, “thank you, Shikaku. Take care, you're no good to Konoha if you pass out and bash your head open on something.”

“I'll be fine,” the Nara just said, "I've been practicing my sleepless nights." The wry tone wasn't happy, and Hizashi watched briefly as he returned to helping control the crush of anxious people.

“Hope you don't mind standing fairly still for a long time, Neji-chan,” Hizashi said, pulling his attention back to his son. Neji just continued to breathe against his neck. “Good enough.”

* * *

 

Neji-chan was  _not_ okay with staying very still for a very long time. Within the first fifteen minutes of being in the line, he wanted down, and he wanted to poke around and say hello to people and find out what the chunks of concrete suddenly everywhere meant.

And he really didn't take the fact he could not well.

Luckily, Neji was hardly the only wailing child in the area, and not even the only one in the line. People just ignored him, though a few gave Hizashi understanding, sympathetic nods and smiles. Hizashi would have preferred a little sympathy from Neji, but infants weren't notorious for their generous spirit. All there was to do was hold him through it, ignoring the collection of snot making it's way to his shoulder. Once the affair was over, Hizashi switched his grip so Neji wouldn't be laying in the mess of his own making.

Naturally, he felt a tiny hand fish in his shirt, and just  _knew_  it had made its way to Neji's mouth. Wordlessly, he stroked Neji's back, trying to convey  _it's okay to be tired and cranky_. Hizashi was tired and cranky too, after all, but people would not have been quite so understanding if he had himself a similar meltdown. And also, there was no one to give him a hug afterwards anyway.

Something in the pit of his stomach told him there never would be, either.

Once they finally made it to the table, they were greeted by a very overworked but pleasant all the same Akimichi with bright blonde hair. She waved at Neji before talking to Hizashi.

“Name, rank and ID if you know it,” she said.

“Hyūga Ryouko, jōnin, 005149. Last seen in the city centre,” he said and she immediately started flipping through a massive mountain of paperwork. Finally, she stopepd.

“Hyūga Ryouko, she was under Gifu Gennosuke, who died in the fighting along with most of his squad,” she looked apologetically up at him. “She's not on my list, so she's not here and wasn't accounted for as of 8AM. You'll want to speak to the jōnin commander, she's at the jōnin standby office. Or, what was the office.”

“My thanks,” Hizashi said, and tried to ignore his creeping dread.

* * *

 

If the wreckage and people milling around the hospital had been bad, the rows of covered dead lining the street around what had once been the standby office was worse, much, much worse. People here moved with purpose, keeping out of the way and more and more people were brought even as Hizashi made his way to where the jōnin commander was supposed to be.

Key word: supposed.

A wane young man with massive facial bruising was the only one stationary outside the pile of rubble, and after a moment Hizashi recognized one of Yondaime-sama's guards; the youngest one. He was conferring with a chūnin when Hizashi came forward, apparently saying something the man didn't want to hear because he eventually left, one hand over his face.

Genma was clutching a list in his hands.

“Shiranui-san,” he called as he came close enough, “I was told Retsu-sama would be here.”

“She's uh, there,” Genma said, and pointed to a covered body not far from Hizashi. “I really need to get a runner to the hospital to fix that mistake,” he said, more to himself, before he seemed to realize where he was again and snapped to attention. “Uh, Hyūga-san,” he said. “You're looking for someone?”

“My wife was unaccounted for,” Hizashi said as he came to stand next to the poor young man, who had exhaustion screaming in every line of his young shoulders. He couldn't be more than 17.

“Hyūga Ryouko, right?” Genma said, surprising Hizashi a little. “She helped evacuate the orphanage and the apartments around it,” he said, “her captain said she refused to fall back along with a few others.”

“Her captain is dead.”

“Mmm, chakra burns. Body just gave up after a few hours, he lingered long enough to give a vague report,” Genma said, possibly not entirely hearing himself. “I'm um, sorry, Hyūga-san,” he said, managing to look Hizashi in the eyes.

He was not sorry because he had no information.

“I see,” Hizashi said, hugging his son closer, “is she...here?”

Wordlessly, Genma handed him the list and pointed about half way down.

_Hyūga Ryouko. Jounin. 00149. 29. 06/06/21Oosan/San8. Cause of death: blood loss due to extreme trauma to the abdomincal area. #099_

Half way down the list, and she was almost the 100th body on this street alone. “Retsu-sama is number forty,” Genma said softly, looking down. “Odds are on the other side of the street if you...want to um.”

“My son doesn't need to see that,” Hizashi said. “We'll have someone collect her when it's appropriate.”

Genma nodded miserably, and turned to the anxious golden eyed set of siblings who'd appeared while the spoke.

* * *

 

When Hizashi and Neji got back to the house it was only 1PM, but somehow it seemed colder. Hizashi finally put Neji down, letting the little boy wander off to do whatever it was he felt a burning need to do. Something like shock, but without the injury, settled over him as he drifted into the kitchen, eye catching on every picture they had together.

Sinking down at the table, Hizashi cast around for something to keep him afloat. Nothing came, however, and after a moment he gave in, resting his head in his hands and trying to keep his tears as quiet as possible. A soft pressure on his knee stopped him, and he looked through watery eyes down at Neji, who was holding a bunny and a blanket up at his father, eyes serious.

Dumbfounded, Hizashi took them gently, and then pulled Neji up. Neji immediately set about pushing the bunny – Hokorri – into the crook of his father's arm. Next, the blanket was haphazardly thrown over his shoulder, and finally Neji settled in, patting Hizashi's good arm gently.

“Ah Neji-chan,” Hizashi said, voice thick, “that's my job I think.”

“My job,” the boy parroted, and Hizashi laughed, the sound choked and wet. “Tousa?”

“It's okay Neji-chan,” he said, “it'll be okay.”

He wasn't certain Neji understood, since the boy just nodded and rested back on his chest. “Story?” he said, and Hizashi managed a smile even though Neji couldn't see it.

“You want a story? Tousan can manage that. Once upon a time there was a very sad prince who lived in a big house...”

* * *

 

Ryouko didn't get a funeral of her own, not really. She was honoured in a massive service a week after the attack, along with Yondaime-sama and everyone else who'd died. So far. People were still dying from wounds, or even just being  _found_ , some of them under so much rubble that even with a doton they weren't yet excavated.

Ume cried the entire time, the only one in the Hyūga crowd doing so aside from the few children old enough to understand, but too young to have mastered their emotional responses. Neji spent the entire service on his feet, leaning against his father and looking around intrigued. Somehow, Hizashi had managed to impress upon him the need for quiet and stillness, but by the end he was shifting around nervously and kept rocking between Hizashi and Ume.

Finally, once the service ended, Hizashi scooped him up, and a tiny serious face looked back at him, little brow drawn down. “Tousa?” he asked, and Hizashi cocked his head as an invitation to keep asking. “Where kaasa?”

Next to them, Ume smothered another sob, and Hiashi looked away.

**Author's Note:**

> I've long ago HC'd that Neji's mother died when he was very young, largely because though I am more than positive we need exactly 0 more dead mothers in Naruto, the fact is if Neji's mother is alive, she's so incredibly passive or neglectful she might as well be a doormat they farmed for DNA. I therefore opt to believe in a woman who was full of personality and life, and just had it cut short by one of Konoha's messiest tragedies.


End file.
